Changes in our Lives

Date: September 4, 2019
Time: 12:14 PM

Disclaimer: This post was made while waiting for another call..

Yes, you read it right. I'm taking in calls again. That means, I'm back in the BPO world. Nothing to worry though, this was my choice. For a change, I guess. ;)

Ahh, change. Such a little word but has a huge impact on our lives. A change can be exciting, but for some, it's scary. And for me, that depends on where you see the changes coming from. Is it from something bad changing to something good? If yes, then kudos! That's a change that everybody would want. However, what if it's about a change from something that's already good that has become bad, or worse? Would that be the change that you'll be looking forward to? I bet you won't.

As the cliche goes, "Change is the only thing permanent in this world."No one can stop it, no one can avoid it. But sometimes, those changes that we don't want to happen, are those changes that will break you into pieces --changes that you'll ask yourself "Why are you experiencing it?" or "Why me?" And sometimes, even if it tears you apart, you don't have a choice but to stand up and stay strong, even if you don't have the strength anymore.

It just saddens me that someone I knew for so long has already changed a lot. Someone so sweet, someone so good, I dunno, has changed into someone that I can't even recognize anymore. That person has already changed to a persona of a stranger - someone that you can't even open up your heart fully. Someone you feel like you'll get a judgment on your side. And sometimes, I ask myself: Is this still the same person I've known for years? Or was I not able to distinguish the real side of this person before then? Is this the real personality that this person has from the start? Am I just too blind to see it before? Those are the questions that is running to my mind every now and then, questions that even I don't know the answer. Questions that I don't even want to get the answers to it as I'm afraid of what those answers are in store for me. And it just breaks my heart little by little. Crying at night alone won't even help. And most of the time, I feel so alone with those thoughts.

Let me ask you: How come that someone so quiet and peaceful becomes this person full of rage and hatred? How come that a person can change that much? Is it because of the kind of environment he/she is in? Is it the kind of people he/she is around? Or most likely, is it because of you? Have you changed as well that's why this person have changed this much? I don't know the answer to that. But one thing's for sure- this person is not the same person I've known before. Time's have changed, and so did she. and at some point, I feel like it's just isn't worth the fight to fix what went wrong. ♥